Saturday, April 11, 2009

Open letter to the lady at the grocery store.

Dear Lady at the grocery store,

You know who you were at the Salmon Creek Fred Meyers today with your daughter (who I am guessing was about 12). You are about 35 and were wearing sweats. You may not remember me - but I was at the store for about an hour. I know you were too and I know this because I could hear you on your cell phone for the ENTIRE HOUR. Every time I turned down an aisle, you were there. Every time I came around a corner, you followed me. If I stopped and looked at the cheese, you were stopped and looking at the cheese.

You may remember me because at one point, your daughter ran into me with the cart. You yelled at her and told her to pay attention. The irony of that was lost on you, I am sure.

I got to hear you talk to whomever you were talking to about some teenagers who shouldn't be dating until they were 28. Then I got to hear you talk about how you knew something was wrong when "she took a third laxative". God only knows who "she" is, I wish I didn't have to even think about that.

Then, when I got in line to check out, I just finished unloading my cart and you pulled into the lane behind me. If you hadn't been so enthralled in your conversation you would have noticed the death glare I gave you. Now, I am sure that you are a really great person, with lots of awesome qualities, but at that moment, I wanted to ram you with my cart. Repeatedly. Seriously, over and over and over again. Happy Easter, right?

Let me tell you a secret. NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO YOUR SIDE OF THE CONVERSATION. No matter who you are talking to. We want you to concentrate on the task at hand and get the hell out of the store, so we can do the same thing. You are an adult, with at least one child - its time you realize that you are not the only person on the planet.

And while we are having this discussion - could you please pass this info along to a few of your relatives....the woman whom I work with that talks on her cell phone in the bathroom (while she is actually using the bathroom), the man who talks on his phone in line at Starbucks, the woman who talks on her phone the entire time she's in our store and then acts annoyed because I am taking too long to ring her up and finally the young girl at our gate at the airpot who is rehashing her crazy night out drinking. I would like all of these people to hang their phone up and get on with life. Don't they have enough time to talk on the phone when they are in their car?


1 comment:

Tina said...

I'm laughing hysterically. I love your post. You've said what I've thought so many times while out in public, but you said it much better. You're so funny!