What now?

I think everyone who has done a big event like Ironman asks the same question in the weeks after "What now?" We have spent the last year of our life focusing totally on this one goal. We'd spent all our time, energy and money on this. We had a schedule, it was pretty firm. There wasn't much thinking about what came next, it was written out in black and white and there was little deviation.

We talked about what we would do after Ironman. Trevor said he would go back to fighting. I said I would do yoga. Lots of yoga. We are two weeks out of Ironman and we are moving on to those things. Trevor is starting his MMA training and yesterday we started at Bikram Yoga. After all these years, I finally got Trevor to come with me.

My plan is to do the hot yoga for at least 30 days straight. Bikram Yoga is done in a room heated to over 100 degrees. There are 26 poses and it lasts 90 minutes. It is an amazing workout. Supposed to be good for all kinds of things and very therapeutic.

We are also still running and doing some spin classes. We are planning to do a marathon at the end of October. We just love to run. We also love the spin classes. I am looking forward to a nice Sunday afternoon so we can go for a bike ride....with no agenda, just enjoying being out on the road.

I plan to take some swim lessons over the winter. I have only ever taken one and it got me pretty far, but I think I could improve some if I focused on it. We are tossing around the idea of doing another Ironman next year, but we need some distance between the last one before we can make that decision.

I am really focusing on healing myself. My arm is not better. I was feeling about 70 percent, then on Sunday at the triathlon we put on, I jammed it and now I'd say I am back to about 50 percent. I am also having an issue with my right thumb. I tore ligaments in that during my fall. The focus was always on my left elbow because it was SO bad, the thumb was kind of ignored. But it is difficult to continue to ignore it now.

I am tired of being hurt, tired of not having full use of my arm and my hand. Sometimes it overwhelms me and makes me sad. Sometimes I feel like I will never be whole again. My doctor said that it was a tough decision to let me race Ironman. I feel like I worked so hard to convince myself that it wasn't so bad, that I kind of forgot how bad it really was. It has only been 4 weeks and the dr had said it should take 4-6 weeks to heal, that was with no Ironman. I guess I need to be patient...not my strong suit.

I do know that I need to recharge - mentally more than anything else. I was suprised how mentally draining Ironman would be and how long it would affect me. Sometimes I feel okay and sometimes I feel so completely out of control with my thoughts and emotions. I am hoping that the yoga helps reset me a bit. I believe that going forward, I will be stronger and more able to cope with stressors like what we've been through. Right now, I just need a break....