Thursday, June 9, 2011

If only in my dreams.

My sweet Gussie has been gone for about 8 months now. There isn't a day when I don't think of him and miss him. I still can't believe he is gone. Last night, for the first time since he passed away, he came to visit me in my dreams.

It was a strange dream, I don't remember all of it, but I remember some. In my dream, Gus was missing. We couldn't find him in the house and I decided to go looking for him. At first, I thought of looking in one direction and then I decided to go another way. As I walked along a path, I saw him curled up under a bench. He lifted his head and saw me. Then he came running to me just as he had every day while he was alive. He was not young and healthy, instead, he was as I remember him towards the end - older and frail, but happy. I bent down and he jumped into my arms. He rubbed his face on my face and I buried my nose into his soft, fluffy fur.

It was so real - the feel of the fur, the sound of purring and the smell of him. I don't know what else happened, but when I woke up, I wanted to go back to sleep. I wanted to hold him and touch him and love him for one more minute. The other cats were all asleep around me. I petted all of them and told them that I loved them. I also told them I had just seen Gussie.

I miss him. I really really miss him and wish I could see him again. For now, I'll have to settle for in my dreams.

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