Thursday, August 18, 2011

10 things I learned 5 years ago

August 19, 2006....Trevor and I got married. Here are 10 very important things that I learned that day.

1. I want to be with Trevor. All the time. He is my best friend. I remember when we were chosing people to be our attendants at the wedding, Trevor said "you are my best friend. I want you to be my best man, but you are the bride".

2. I have a really great family - my family and Trevor's family were awesome. Some people get really nuts about weddings. Our families kept things relatively stress free, they went with the flow, let us do what we wanted and supported us. My sister in law, Nicole and cousin Kristen, took it upon themselves to take care of the table decorations - they went to the farmer's market that morning and bought flowers to put on the tables. I didn't ask them to do it, they just did it. And it was perfect. I looked at those flowers and I felt loved.

3. My lifelong friends - Erin Smith, Megan Crank and Lorraine Toto will travel any distance and time to be there for me. I love them immensely and will always feel honored that they were there with me on the most important day of my life.

4. I do not like being the center of attention as much as I thought I did.

5. Often it is the people you expect the most from who give you the least.

6. When you have a DJ for an event, its important to discuss what you want with them before said event. We had a friend do the DJing and to this day I cringe when I think of how the reception turned into a teenage dance club with flashing lights and pounding bass. At one point, my chest was vibrating from the sound of the bass. That wasn't what I was going for on my wedding day!

7. It is possible for a person to go from being one of my favorite people to one of my least favorite people in a very short period of time. Thanks to Clare Sanders for teaching me that. To this day, he is the only negative memory I have of our wedding day. For bashing my father in law and calling my wedding a "skit", he will forever be on my list of least favorite people.

8. When things don't go according to the plan, it makes for a better story. I don't want a perfect life, I want to be able to laugh at things when they go wrong. For example, when you plan to walk out of your wedding to a song that says "every day of my life has been leading me here tonight, feels like I'm coming home, back to you" and instead this song plays: "Well you packed your bags and said you're leaving tonight, gotta catch the last train to the big city lights...", it is far better to laugh than to be angry. And that's what we did....we laughed. We also laughed when our best man's toast included a comment that caused some in the crowd to gasp. Because what else can you do....

9. The Heathman Hotel in downtown Portland has the most comfortable beds and the shortest robes.

10. It is the small moments that have the most impact. The little holding hands and praying with my maid of honor right before I walked down the aisle (my prayer was "Dear God, please don't let me F*ck this up" - meaning my marriage). My dad seeing me for the first time that day and holding my hand as we walked down the aisle to Bruce Springsteen's live recording of Jersey Girl. Trevor seeing me for the first time that day and telling me that I looked beautiful. My Grammie giving me a ring that belong to her mother as my something old. There were a million little, seemingly inconsequential things that happened that day that I will remember forever.

Here is what Trevor says he learned that day:
Never do pictures after the ceremony - that's what we did and it took us away from our guests for way too long. So long that some of them left before we got back. We didn't do very many traditional things, but I was really set on not seeing each other before I walked down the aisle. We all suffered because of it! I don't know why that was so important to me, but it was.

I could list a million things that I've learned over the last 5 years. Being Trevor's wife has been the best experience of my life. It still makes me happy when people call me Mrs. Bryant or when Trevor introduces me as his wife. I think that the thing that I loved most about our wedding day is that it wasn't about the wedding - the dress, the food, the was about getting married to my best friend. It was about standing in front of our friends and family and promising to love each other forever. Perhaps the most important thing I learned that day is that we are loved.

Happy Anniversary to the most tolerant man I know. Thank you for choosing me to be your wife.

Just for fun, here is my anniversary post from last year, it includes links to a couple previous anniversaries as well...

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