Saturday, May 21, 2011


One word: Exhausted. That describes how I feel right now, how I have been feeling for at least a week now. As I mentioned in an earlier post, Opal is nearing the end, and that makes everything else in my life much less important. All I can think about when I am away from her is how little time we have left. I can't kiss her or smell her fur enough. I cannot believe that in the very near future I will no longer be able to do that.

We are super busy with the stores right now and our training group. We put on a 2.5 mile run today. We are also training for a triathlon in July. Things are really busy and we have very little down time. We aren't sleeping all that great because Trevor is down on the couch with Opal and I am in bed with 3 cats who all want to lay right on top of me because Trevor isn't there.

Opal has gotten worse the last few days, Trevor's been holding her food in his hand to feed her. She's starting to demand that now, so instead of even trying to get to her food, she barks as if to say "FEED ME!". This morning I told Trevor I was exhausted. He said he was too because he wakes up every hour to hand feed Opal.

We've been giving her a bath as often as we can because she has developed a sore on her backside from dragging herself around. When we were giving her a bath last night we realized the sore was much worse than we had realized. I saw it at the same time Trevor saw it and we both got silent and teared up. Just like Gus, her body is giving out. She is wasting away in front of our eyes and I think she is ready to go.

Tomorrow evening will probably be time. Just typing that makes me burst into tears. It makes me sick to my stomach to think of making this decision again for another one of our babies. I expect the next 24 hours will be especially difficult. There just isn't enough time.

Opal barks a lot. She always has and it drives us nuts!! This morning she was barking and it was driving me nuts. I was telling her to stop barking and then I realized that I didn't want her to ever stop barking.

She keeps telling me that she can't wait to get to heaven because then her legs will work again and she can run and play and lay in the sun with Wookie and Gus. Joyce (our petsitter who passed away in August) will be there to throw the ball for her.

I know this is all a part of life, but I hate it. I'm tired of it. I am exhausted by it. And I know Opal is too.

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