We have spent the last two months watching her, evaluating
her, medicating her and nursing her back to health. It has been a long road but
it has gone so fast. I look at her now and find it hard to believe all we’ve
been through in such a short time.
When Asha came home, she was still very sick. She was
breathing on her own and taking all her medications orally. She took at least
20 pills per day. We also nebulized her 2-3 times a day for 15 minutes
(nebulizing means holding a mask with a stream of medicated steam in front of
her nose).
I was so nervous to have her home. I missed the comfort of
24 hour care. I missed having a medical professional there to give me an expert
opinion. Without that I worried I would miss something. I was so concerned that
she would go backwards. Considering how fast she got sick in the first place, I
didn’t want to miss any sign of her getting sicker.
The first week Asha was home, we did not leave her alone for
a second. I slept on the couch with her. She was still having her panic attacks
at night since she had been off her anxiety medication for a few days. I knew
it would take a week or so to get back to normal. When she has those panic
attacks, she runs around and barks. She also hyperventilates. With her
breathing issues, that really concerned me. She wasn’t able to settle down at
all up in our bedroom, so we were back on the couch. Just like the good old
days.
After a couple days, her anxiety leveled out and she was
able to relax more at night. It wasn’t too long until we were sleeping upstairs
again. It was so obvious that Asha didn’t feel like herself. She hardly moved
at all during the day. She would go outside to go to the bathroom and take one
step off the deck, do her business and come right back in to lay down.
Asha wears a leash in the house most of the time. That way
we can keep her near and if she jumps up and starts to pace and bark we can
pull her back in. For example, right now, I am sitting at the kitchen table and
Asha is laying at my feet. I have her leash around my wrist. In the last 20
minutes she has gotten up twice. I pull her back to me, touch her and she lays
right back down. If I didn’t have the leash, she would get up , run into the
front room, pace and bark.
This is our reality, our routine….and we have gotten used to
it. After Asha came home, she didn’t do any of this. She just laid in one spot,
all the time. As much as I have spent
the last three and a half years wishing for peace and quiet, I didn’t like it
one bit. It wasn’t normal. It wasn’t right.
We went back to see Dr Seekins after two weeks. Asha’s xrays
showed improvement and we were able to decrease some of her medications. We
stopped one and were able to start nebulizing 1-2 times a day. We were so happy
that Asha was showing progress. As we started to decrease her medication I
became even more vigilant about her breathing and her behavior. No one knows
her like I do. I know every breath, noise and movement she makes. It had been
such a crazy few weeks that I was starting to feel like I couldn’t even tell
what was normal anymore. Her breathing had been so irregular that I worried I
wouldn’t know what regular looked like!
During this time we were also making regular visits to see
Dr Hope Valentine, Asha’s Chinese Medicine Vet. Dr Valentine is one of Asha’s
favorite people so it was good not only for her body, but her soul to spend
some time in her office. Asha was put on some different herbs to help her
breathing and her organs. She also received accupuncture.
We went back two weeks later for another follow up. Asha
would get so excited when we walked in the doors at Columbia River Veterinary
Specialists. Her little nubbin tail would wag furiously until she was able to
greet all her friends there. Her stay there was no picnic and so it was
surprising to me that she still loved coming there.
I remember when the tech brought Asha back in the room after
her xrays she said “the doctor will be in to go over the films with you in a
minute, but I can tell you she smiled big when she saw them.” Sure enough, Dr
Seekins came in to see me and was thrilled with how Asha’s lungs looked. We
were able to again decrease her medications and move our next follow up to a
month out. That was great news.
Now that Asha was feeling better, her personality was really
showing. A month earlier, I had sat on the floor of the ICU, with a very sick
Asha, and tried to explain to Dr Seekins all that this sweet girl meant to us.
I am sure most owners tell her how special their pet is, but Asha is different.
She isn’t like other dogs and I couldn’t find the words that day to express it.
Now, Dr Seekins was seeing for herself and I loved that. Asha has a way of
looking right through you, right into your soul. One of the great joys of my
life with her is when other people see how amazingly special she is.
We headed home and we continued to monitor her progress. Asha
was just starting to act like her old self. One day I was working at the
kitchen table and Asha would not settle down. Just like before she got sick,
she was getting up and pacing and barking. While we are used to this behavior and we
have lived with it for years, it can still be incredibly annoying. Even though
Asha is deaf, we still talk to her and sometimes even yell at her as if she was
a hearing dog. I got up from the table and said “Asha, you are driving me nuts”.
I stopped in my tracks. Then I sat down on the floor and hugged her while I
cried. I had wanted Asha’s old self back for a while now. Ever since she got
sick, all I wanted was her to act like “normal”. I cried tears of happiness because
that time was finally here. Our girl was coming back to us. I have never been
so happy to be annoyed by her!
I was getting ready
to head out of town for a busy month of travel. I was happy that Asha was doing
so well. We are blessed to have incredible pet sitters who I knew would keep a
close eye on Asha. All has been well for the last month. Asha hasn’t coughed at
all since we brought her home from the ICU. Her breathing has been steadily
improving. Most days, Asha is her normal self.
Last week we went back for another follow up. Asha’s lungs
again looked good but there is still some damage. It is hard to say if that is
how they looked before she got sick (we have nothing to compare them to) and it
is hard to say if this is as good as they will get. She may have some permanent
damage to her lungs and she may always have a little more trouble breathing
than before. But she is really doing great. Dr Seekins is very happy with her progress.
We are continuing to decrease her medication. We will continue to watch her
like a hawk for any indication that she is doing anything other than improving.
Our next follow up is in 4 weeks.We continue to take things one day at a time. Asha is the most amazing creature to me, as she has always been. I still look at her now and then and remind myself that she cannot see or hear. I am in awe of the life she lives, of the way she navigates the world with nothing but love and happiness. She has the most open heart and the most adventurous soul. It is like it never occurs to her that anything other than good exists in the Universe. I often forget how much she depends on Trevor and I. Her complete trust in us is humbling and my complete love for her is overwhelming. I didn’t think I could ever love her more, but with every passing day I find myself more in awe of her and her place in my world. I wonder who I ever was without her and who I would have become had she not come into my life.
If at the end of my life, I am judged only for the way in
which I loved this girl than I will be content. She is all that is good and
right in my world. She makes me a better person. She saved me from a life of
ordinary. I am so grateful for every day that I get to see her sweet smiling
face. I hope I get to see it for many more years to come.
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