love

A friend of mine found a blog and sent it to me. Its called Enjoying the small things. Its written by a young woman who's second daughter was born with down syndrome. It is amazingly beautiful and touching. Here is the link that my friend sent me. Its the birth story of Nella, the daughter with down syndrome and I sobbed when I read it. This may sound silly, but it reminded me so much of Asha. One line in particular...

Love me. Love me. I'm not what you expected, but oh, please love me.

Every time I read that, all I want to do is hold Asha close to me, tell her that I love her and be sure that she knows it. She is not what we expected, but she wants to be loved. She needs to be loved. And, oh, how we love her.

She makes us crazy, she's turned our lives upside down and she has tested my patience. But we love her. There are times when I think of how life would be if she had never come to live with us. I only think of how it would be for us. I try not to think about how it would have been for her.

When I am exhausted and just want to relax and she is running and barking, I look at Buster and Maggie. I see them fast asleep on the couch and can't help but think how quiet it would be if was just them. But its not just them, Asha, our little problem child, is part of our family and we are all in this together.

It never fails that soon after these thoughts cross my mind, Asha will come over and lean against me or look me right in the face with those blind eyes and there nothing I would change about that moment....Love me. Love me. I'm not what you expected, but oh, please love me.

Don't worry sweet baby....we do love you.