Saturday, October 15, 2011

364 days

364 days....that's how long I have been without my sweet Gussie. Our cat, Gus, died a year ago tomorrow. Not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of him, missed him and longed for one more minute with him.

Its been 18 months since we said goodbye to our dog Wookie and six months since we said goodbye to our other dog Opal. I miss all three of them terribly. I am certainly occupied with our 6 current pets and I love them all tremendously, but that doesn't mean that I don't miss the love and companionship of those original 3.

I've really been missing Gus alot these last couple weeks - knowing that its been just about a year and finding it impossible to believe that much time has passed, I feel like we just said goodbye. I loved that cat more than I think I have ever loved anyone in all my life. He was my family for 11 years and he loved me like no other.

I know that he'd be beside himself with all the activity going on in our house right now. He would HATE Asha because she messes with our sleep and the one thing Gus loved was sleeping on my pillow. He would have given Asha the stink eye, constantly, for disrupting that.

The only good luck that Gus ever had was being adopted by me. His life before me was full of strife and his life with me was full of illness and uncertainty. The one thing that was constant was my love for him. I would have done anything to keep him safe and healthy. Our vet always said that Gus would have died years ago if it weren't for us and our willingness to do what needed to be done in order to give him a great life.

When we were close to making the decision to let him go, I wrote this:

When the time comes, I will make the decision and it will break my heart. I will let him go, but part of me will go with him. I have loved him every minute since I first saw him and I will love him forever.

It was true then, its true now.

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