Meet my trainer

So, you can't get into the best shape of your life by yourself. You need someone to be there with you, pushing you to your limit, making sure you aren't slacking. A little encouragement and even love can help too.

I do a lot of working out at home. I started about 5 years ago doing some home exercise videos and I have gotten increasingly more serious with these workouts. I know what you are thinking..."at home exercise videos? how hard of a workout can that be?" Let me tell you, you'd be shocked. I am currently using my videos more for weight workouts than cardio. And these weight workouts can really kick my butt. I love that. I love that I wake up at 5 am and walk across the hall to our "workout room" - turn on the TV and I am ready to go. Well, I don't really LOVE the waking up at 5 am, but I love the short commute to the gym at that hour!

When I get to the workout room, I get my weight bench and/or high step all ready to go...usually about 10 or 15 minutes into my workout, my trainer shows up. Sometimes he'll sleep in a little or he'll eat breakfast before he joins me, but he ALWAYS joins me. He has a unique style of training. If I am laying down doing chest exercises (bench press, chest flys), he climbs up and sits on my stomach and watches me. If I am sitting on the stability ball doing shoulder exercises (overhead press), he'll jump up on the ball behind me and sometimes crawl around and sit on my lap. This has resulted in at least one popped stability ball. When I am doing pushups - he sits between my hands and is sure that my face gets all the way to the ground - he rubs my nose with his face to keep count.

His favorite part of the workout is the stretch - I am on the floor for an extended amount of time. This provides an opportunity for a full body review - he'll check me up one side and down the other, just to be sure that I am doing okay.

I know you are probably thinking that Trevor is my trainer...close...but not right. Its my cat Gus and he is the best trainer/workout partner I could ever have.

Here is a picture of him checking to be sure that I am pushing down with my heel while I do squats against the stability ball. (yes, the room is a mess....Gus needs to hire someone to clean the gym)

Next, he is checking to be sure that the high step is stable for me. He figures if it can hold him, it will hold me just fine.
This is how Gus relaxes after a hard day of training. He thinks that stretching is really beneficial and is constantly demonstrating.
I just love this picture, so I had to put it here - you probably can't read it - but there is a tag on the mouse that says "cat toy". For some reason, that's funny to me.
Trevor came to Gus' gym last week to do an ab workout with me. It was during this workout that Gus realized that his gym was at capacity and he couldn't take on any new clients. He sat between us while we were on the floor doing our workout and just looked back and forth between us. He didn't know who's face to rub first. He suggested that in the future we do our workouts individually, that way he could give us each his full attention.

I've said it before. I love this cat. Without him, who knows what kind of shape I'd be in!

How bad do you want it?

We are open for business. After 10 months of investigating, planning, thinking, working, thinking more, crunching numbers, sleepless nights, excitement, fear and anticipation. The day is finally here. Trevor got to the store around 7:30. I stopped by for about half an hour before I headed off to work. I felt like a mother, saying good-bye to her child on the first day of school. So uncertain about what the day will hold...will he make friends? will he get through the day without me? where will this first day lead?. So many questions, so many thoughts and worries. As I left my husband alone with our child...I wanted to cry.

As the day went on, I didn't hear from Trevor...what could this mean? The store was set to open at 10:30, our manager Casey, Brad - a corporate guy from the east coast, and Greg - our regional developer, were all set to be at the store all day. I sent a text message to Trevor around noon and got no response. I finally called him around 3 and he said there had been people in the store all day long. They were busy! Our child was making friends. On the first day.

I went to the store after work and we were busy until we closed at 8. I went home. Trevor got home around 9:30. We had a fabulous day. 25 customer purchased goods and our sales exceeded our hopes for the day. This is good news. Very good news. We are looking forward to each day now. Planning and dreaming of all the things this new venture will bring into our lives. We just can't wait.

Here is our crew: me, Trevor, Regional Developer Greg and our manager Casey.

We are so fortunate to have Casey on our team. He is the perfect addition. The three of us are a very well rounded MACHINE! Each of us has a different strong point. We provide balance and this will be our greatest strength.

Here are a few more pictures of the store.



There will be plenty more to come.

Feel the fear and do it anyway...

This is our current motto. It seems like I need to repeat it to myself about 100 times a day. There is so much going on right now of which I am afraid....terrified...scared to death. I have to remind myself that being scared is not a reason to quit.

The store opens tomorrow. We have spent the last two days stocking shelves, I'm heading over there soon to spend the third day stocking shelves. A mind-numbing, back aching process. I look forward to being done with this part of things. I haven't really been scared about this business venture (I was scared about the loan closing, but not scared about the business). I'm scared now. Tomorrow, we find out what will be. We've done a lot of leg work leading up to tomorrow - I believe we are prepared - we've done advertising, community events, told the world what we are doing...now we see who was listening. Obviously it doesn't end tomorrow - it actually all begins. And while that is exciting, it is also so very scary.

We have our second triathlon coming up on Sept 6th - I'm scared of that too. Maybe more so than of the first because I know what's in store. I've been sticking to my training. We did a swim in the lake where the event will be held and I think my nerves will be a little more at ease in the swim - I don't expect the swim to be any easier, I just hope not to be so scared.

There is so much going on at my job right now. They announced a huge buyout on Friday. It will be interesting to see where the cards land on that one - I am not eligible for the buyout - so I'll be left behind to pick up the pieces. That is scary because I expect my job to be transformed, I expect the company to be transformed. We've been through a lot of that in the last few years and I wonder how much more we can do before we stop actually being a newspaper. Will I tell my great nieces and nephews someday "there used to be these things called newspapers....and I worked there!" This kind of puts some extra pressure on our business. I used to think that newspapers would be around forever....now it seems like newspapers are doing whatever they can to kill themselves. I'm not ready to give up on them yet, because I love them, but I worry about the future.

I could go on and on about the things that occupy my mind. And you would probably say "worrying won't make them better" and you would be right. If you could give me advice on how not to worry about them...I'd give you a year's subscription to the newspaper.

2 years and counting...

"Who knows where the road will lead us, only a fool would say. But if you let me love you, its for sure I'm going to love you....all the way..." - Frank Sinatra - our first dance song.

This was us....two years ago today.

This was us Saturday night - celebrating our anniversary at our favorite restaurant - Oba!

We made it another year. Trevor's toast - "to more action and less talk". Ever since I have known Trevor, he always has had big dreams. He was always talking about all the things he wanted to do, all the things we should do. And we never did any of them, when I reminded him of this, he would tell me not to stomp on his dreams. He's the dreamer, I'm the planner. I told him multiple times that I wanted less talk and more action. They say, "be careful what you wish for". In the last two years, since we got married, it seems like we are all action - no talk. We have done all of the things he talked about doing...and more. We bought a rental house, completely remodeled it. He's training for a fight in September, we bought a business, he left his full time job, we have traveled to places I could never have imagined we would go. Our lives have been a whirlwind of activity. It is all more than I expected. We are very different people than we were just two years ago. We have grown together and keep pushing each other to want more and to be more. I am more because of Trevor. I live more, I love more, I work more, I dream more. Because of Trevor. Because I have the honor of being his wife....that is so much to live up to. I spend every day trying.

Like Frank said..."who knows where the road will take us. Only a fool would say". Only a fool would say. Happy Anniversary Trevor. Thank you for our life.

The loves of my life...

"You can't help that. We're all mad here." -
Cheshire Cat quote by The Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland


This is Gus...the $10,000 cat.




Gus and I met each other at the Humane Society shelter in Bridgewater, New Jersey in 1999. For about a year, it was just the two of us. We moved from NJ to Portland, Oregon together - 1o hour days in the car, stopping at hotels at night. He was the best company - he was quiet most of the time and agreed with everything I had to say. About a year after I moved to Portland, Gus' medical bills started to add up - this cat has every health issue you can imagine...he has had a blood disease that almost killed him, a heart problem (he takes medicine every day for that), an auto-immune issue on his nose (he takes medicine once a week), a nose bleed problem solved by pulling teeth and most recently - a cancerous tumor on his tail...resulting in the removal of his tail. See the big fluffy tail in the picture...its gone...now he just has a stub and he doesn't seem to mind at all.
I love him. I love him more than anything or anyone ever. Trevor knows this and understands, which is why I love him so much. Gus sleeps on Trevor's head every night and he has for 8 years now. Another reason why I love Trevor so much. I could tell you a million things about this cat...but I won't....I have to move on....



To Wookie.....

Wookie was Trevor's dog when we met. Wookie is smart. Really smart. He never had any training and he knows all the basic commands. He knows what we are talking about and we often talk to him like he is a person. The best thing about Wookie is that he'll let you do just about anything to him...see above...he's wearing a safety vest...not happy about it...but wearing it because it made us happy.
Wookie's weakness is food. He turns into a real jackass around food. As I said, he totally speaks English...until there is a hamburger on the counter and as he is grabbing it off the counter and gobbling it down. We yell at him and he says, "no habla inglés".
I love Wookie too - I hug him often. And when I say "I love you" - he understands.

Opal....Girl Dog...

here she is with her best friend - GT (Green Toy) - GT goes everywhere with her, except when she wants to have RB (Red Ball). She is obsessed with GT and RB. Opal and Wookie are best friends - they were both with Trevor when we met. The only thing Opal loves more than GT and RB is Trevor. She is a total daddy's girl. She follows him everywhere. I think I come in 4th (Trevor is first, Wookie is second, GT and RB are third, then me). She'll follow me when he isn't home. She likes to sit on the couch with me - mostly because she thinks its her seat and I am sitting in it - so I guess I sit on the couch with her. Opal is a cattle dog and will herd us any chance she gets, which makes walking her tough - she keeps circling us and we end up tied up in the leash. Opal is slowing down in her old age. She used to be our head of security. She's retired now and spends most of her time in the house, on the couch or on the floor in Trevor's office. Probably dreaming about.....

DAISY!!!

Daisy joined our family in Jan of 2006. She was a shelter cat that we saw at PetCo. She was 9 years old and on sale. We felt sad because we didn't think anyone would take her home. She is the sweetest cat ever. The first night at our house, she slept in bed with us. She loves Wookie and this green chair. She spends 90% of her time in the green chair. Wookie is her best friend because he loves to eat as much as she does. Since we've had Daisy, she's gone from 9 pounds to 14 pounds. She's on the sumo diet - she eats and then she sleeps. She is beautiful. She screams when you touch her - we aren't sure why. She loves to be petted, she just meows loudly. She is our alarm clock - she gets up before us and sits in the hallway waiting for food - if we take too long getting up - she sounds the call with a timid little "meow" - Opal hears hear and starts barking like crazy - which makes Wookie cry - which upsets Gus....and so our day begins...

I never thought I would meet a man who loved animals the way that I did. Then I met Trevor. Sometimes I hear him talking to one or more of the pets when I am in the other room and I'll just stop and listen. This is my family.

Elvis has left the building

Our 2nd wedding anniversary is coming up on August 19th. I was looking through our honeymoon and wedding pictures and found this picture.....


Pay close attention to the difference in Trevor from that picture to this recent picture...



I think I look about the same, Trevor has lost 45 pounds in the last two years. He was really at his heaviest around our wedding. Trevor has been doing mixed martial arts (MMA) for about 4 years now. We've been running for about 6. Four months before our wedding, we were gearing up for some weight loss, so we could be at our best on the big day. Three months before the wedding, during a routine Saturday MMA class, Trevor broke his leg and tore all the ligaments in his ankle. It was 14 weeks before the wedding when the dr told us that Trevor would need surgery and pins put in his ankle. The dr said, "you will be unable to put weight on your leg for 12 weeks". I cried. We had just starting taking dance classes....this was no my plan.

Trevor spent 6 weeks in a hard cast and 6 weeks in a soft cast. As you can imagine, the inactivity and stress resulted in some weight gain. He had bought a suit that was a little big and we figured that he'd lose weight and it would be taken in to fit. Instead, three weeks before the wedding, the suit had to be let out as much as it could possibly be let out to fit him for the wedding. I wasn't even sure he'd be able to stand up during the wedding, much less dance with me. I spent a lot of time on the phone with the travel agent making sure that our travel insurance covered us if we needed to cancel the trip.

In the end, it all worked out just fine....it always does. It was a beautiful day - Trevor looked great in his suit. He stood and married me and then twirled me around the dance floor like a pro. An amazing trip to Tahiti followed and our life together got its official start....after 6 years of living in sin.

I was shocked when I looked at the pictures from this time - I don't remember Trevor being that big and I don't realize how much weight he has lost. He is training for his first amateur MMA fight -probably in Sept - and has taken his fitness to a whole new level. I am amazed constantly how strong he is - both physically and cardio - wise. He is a rock star. He was always a rock star - for a while he just looked more like Elvis in his fat days.

What is your worth?

In a quite absolute final way, what you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.
It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in love,
stay in love,
and it will decide everything.


What are you in love with? What are you addicted to? We are all addicted to something. We are addicted to work, food, spending money, the opinion of others, exercise, drugs, alcohol, smoking. These addictions determine everything about our lives....they are the reason we get out of bed, they decide with whom we associate. They determine our worth or help to keep us from feeling unworthy.

Like all of us, I have been addicted to many things in my life - food, work, cigarettes, exercise, dieting. For many years, the number on the scale determined my worth. I'd get up in the morning and the number on the scale determined how I felt for the rest of the day. For many of us, our accomplishments at work determine our worth. Do you determine your worth by the clothes in your closest, the amount of your paycheck, the size of your waist...do you let others determine your worth by these things?

In no way am I an expert on feeling worthy. God knows I spend lots of my time looking for ways to feel good enough. Every once in a while there is a glimmer in my mind when I realize that just by being alive I am good enough. I am worthy of all the things I have and all the things I dream of having.

Our store will be opening in two weeks. One of the things I am most excited about will be the number of lives we will be able to touch. With our products, our knowledge and our service, we will be able to help people in their quest for worthiness. We'll help them achieve more from their body than they ever thought possible. We'll show people the path to dreams and aspirations. Whatever you want, you can achieve. I cannot wait to talk to people and find out what THEY really want out of life and work with them to develop a plan to get there.

Everyone has an excuse for why they can't have what they want. I have them, Trevor has them...confronting those excuses, those fears and moving through them is the only way to get what you really want out of life. What you are willing to confront to reach a goal determines how important that goal is to you.

Over the last few years I've realized that some of my addictions were not helping me reach my goals. Being so tied to the number on the scale was not going to help me run a half marathon on the Great Wall or complete a triathlon. Once I decided what my goals really were (being fit, healthy and getting the most out of this body), I was able to put my focus in the right place. My addiction shifted away from the number on the scale. I now look at eating as fuel for my body to perform and get stronger, instead of as a way to get to a number. The craziest thing about that is that the number on the scale is lower than it ever was when I was trying to get it lower! Addiction can cloud your mind, make you lose track of the truth and feel unworthy.

To what are you addicted? From what do you draw your worth? Is it time for a shift? Remember, what you are in love with, what you are addicted to...it decides everything .